This page contains poems that have no real reason to exist other than I decided to write them!
Beards & Barnets (for my Mum and her husband when he opened his own Barber shop)
Christmas Day (Just some fun with the letters of the title)
Custard in the Hair (a nonsense rhyme for my two beautiful grandaughters)
Day at the Zoo (a nonsense rhyme for my daughter)
Going to the Feis (a poem about Irish Dancing competitions)
Irish Dancing with the BAD (a poem about taking your first Irish Dancing lessons)
Mayfair (a rhyme for my eldest daughter, Sarena, when she bought herself a nice car)
Siobhan 2.5 (written about my daughter Siobhan when she was two and a half years old)
Siobhan (written about Siobhan when still a baby)
Six (again for Siobhan when she reached Six)
THE POEMS!
Beards
'n' Barnets
There's a new place down High Street South,
Whose reputation will grow by word of mouth,
because all are welcome at Beards 'n' Barnets,
the only ones who aren't welcome are, the Nits!
OAP's on their haircuts can save,
kids as well, as long as they behave.
There's mirrors on the walls, and tiling on the floor,
and a 'Come on in, We're Open' sign hanging on the door.
stood amongst the panelling, all green and wooden,
there's Geoff cutting hair, like a good'un.
He'll greet you with a cheery "Haircut Sir?"
He'll even tidy up your facial fur.
When not cutting hair, he'll be sweeping up,
Or sipping his coffee, (half a cup),
He won't let the place get into a mess,
So we know Beards 'n' Barnets will be a success,
So ignore any doubts you may still harbour,
you'll soon be Dunstable's Number One Barber
Darren 12th August 1997
Can it really be Christmas Eve so soon?
Haven't bought even half of the presents yet.
Rush out to the shops this afternoon,
Is there anyone else I mustn't forget?
So hard to decide, so hard to choose,
Though Dad always likes his bottle of booze.
Must dash now, the day grows shorter,
And Mum better like the perfume I bought her.
Settled down now, to watch the telly,
Dozing off, with a full belly,
And I'll have some more pudding, if I may,
Yes, at last, it's CHRISTMAS DAY !!
Darren November '96
I know two pretty girls, Their names are Kerry and Billie,
Who washed their hair with Custard, which I thought was rather
silly!
It ran all down their backs, and then dripped all down their
face,
And dripped off of their noses, it was all over the place!
Just then their Daddy came bursting through the door,
And slipped over in the Custard that was all over the floor!
He landed on his bottom with one almighty thump,
You don't need me to tell you it gave him the right HUMP!
But don't go now, I've the worst to tell you yet,
Because it was about now that the Custard began to SET!
Dad couldn't move, he really was in a pickle,
And the Custard between his toes was really beginning to tickle!
The girls said "what can we do?, Dad's really in a Jam"
Kerry then said "Listen up, I think I have a plan"
"If you do just what I tell you, I think that we can beat
it"
"The only way to clear the Custard, is for us to EAT
IT!"
Billie scooped up with one hand, and then she ate some more,
And pretty soon there was no Custard there upon the floor,
"You can get up now Dad, I've think we've got you free"
the Girls cried out, with just a hint of glee!
Dad still had an angry look on his face, but then he began to
laugh,
Come on now girls, turn on the taps, I think we all need a BATH!
Darren 29th March 1999
When I went to the Zoo I saw a big, hairy, Spider,
Just like the old lady said "tickled inside her."
When I went to the Zoo I saw long, squiggly, Worm,
I didn't like it much, it made me squirm!
When I went to the Zoo I saw a large, green, Frog,
He was eating his lunch, sat on a log.
When I went to the Zoo I saw a coiled up, striped, Snake,
He didn't move at all, I think it was a fake!!
When I went to the Zoo I saw a black, Great Ape,
Throwing bananas, what a jolly jape.
When I went to the Zoo I saw a pair of Llamas,
One in a red coat, the other in pyjamas!
When I went to the Zoo I saw a performing Dolphin,
Dad would have liked it but he'd gone Golfin'.
When I went to the Zoo I saw a long necked Giraffe,
Licking someones ice cream, it made me laugh.
When I went to the Zoo I saw an Elephant named Nellie,
I've seen her before, she's been on the Telly.
When I went to the Zoo mum bought me a cornet,
Then the wasps chased me, and I was attacked by a Hornet!
When I went to the Zoo mum made a Picnic,
And I had my photo taken in a booth that said 'KwikPik'.
When I went to the Zoo I ate a Marmite sarnie,
And a little brown, Sparrow started drinking my tea!
When I went to the Zoo I heard a sleeping Lion snore,
Then he opened his eyes and gave a big ROOAARR!!
When I went to the Zoo I saw something called a Gnu,
I saw a Wallaby, a Koala, and a Red Kangaroo.
When I went to the Zoo I saw a tiger with a white paw,
He was laid in the shade on a soft bed of straw.
When I went to the Zoo mum bought me some Rock,
I trod in a puddle and got a wet sock!
When I went to the Zoo I ran away from a Bee,
Tripped over a step, and hurt my left knee!
When I went to the Zoo I saw a tall, flightless, Bird,
An Ostrich it was called, it was part of a herd.
When I went to the Zoo I had a fun filled day,
It was so good, in fact, I wanted to stay.
For my little girl
with love from Dad
XXXX 27/06/97
all the children were gathered to learn,
some Irish dance from a man named Byrne
feet together, toes apart,
that is the way you had to start
now lift your left leg, then your right,
I thought we were going to be there all night?
next you all practiced step, step, behind
and very soon we came to find
you changed the first step into a big jump,
forgot to put three behind, and gave Eamonn the hump!
you kept on trying and then you found
that eight in a circle, made a lead round
now you had made it to the back,
this Irish dancing you are beginning to crack
but just here you do not stop,
now you swap the jump, for a hop!
now it is time for a hop - two - three,
make sure your foot comes past your knee.
now step to the side, to a count of seven,
get it right, and Eamonn is in heaven
now jump, and seven, back to the middle,
keep those arms still, and do not fiddle,
but this is not where you stay,
repeat the hops and sevens, the other way.
then two hop - two - threes, but move toward,
the front of stage, (keep coming forward)
now hop - sevens right, then left you go
there is not much more for you to know
some jump - two - threes, to the count of eight,
ending up at the starting gate
if you make it back to your original place
Eamonn will have a big smile on his face
when you began it seemed such a big deal
but now you can do the BEGINNERS REEL!
Darren 12/6/98
I'm going to a Feis tomorrow, So I'll be rushing round all night,
I've got to practice all my dances, To make sure I get them
right.
Then it's time for a quick bath, Then Mum's got to curl up my
hair,
For all those dreaded Ringlets, But will the judges even care?
I'm getting quite excited, I won't get to bed 'til late,
Then I'll be dreaming of the Feis, And wondering about my fate,
Is my Slip Jig good enough? And what about my Reel?
The judge had better like my light dance, I just hope that my
heavy's appeal.
Dad will wake me in the morning, We'll be getting up with the
Lark,
There's no point opening the curtains, Outside it will still be
dark!
Just time for a quick breakfast, Then Mum will be working on my
curls,
As she takes out all the rollers, A mass of ringlets unfurls!
It's taken ages to sort out my hair, Creating nice ringlets
really is quite slow,
Dad is getting anxious, He says It's time for us to go!
It's such a long drive to the Feis, It seems to take all day,
We haven't much time left, It's a good job Dad knows the way!
There's lots of dancers all around, Practicing Clicks and Rocks,
Wearing their Heavy shoes, With their Poodle Socks!
Head for the hall I'm dancing in, I'll try to find some space,
But there are people standing everywhere, And Dress bags all over
the place.
The Feis is running three hours late! My Dad's often heard to
say,
I don't know why we rush around, There's always a delay
So now I've time to practice, Before I put on my dress,
And hopefully later on, I'll be having some success!
All the children are gathered in the line, I'm stood roughly
halfway down,
Mum is waving and telling me to smile, The judge won't like a
frown.
Now the line has moved forward, And my turn has come at last,
The musician starts to play a reel, Oh no, it seems really fast!
Now I've got to calm myself, And stand perfectly still in line,
I'm just listening to the music, And the speed now seems just
fine!
Counting down the music, I point my foot on Five,
Then I start to dance at eight, Dancing makes me feel so alive.
Now the music has stopped, And the judge has rung his bell,
Back in line and bow smartly, Bow to the musician as well!
Leaving the stage quickly, I join the queue once more,
I'm ready for my light jig, I'm not as nervous as before.
The time seems to pass so quickly, Now I've finished my solo
dances,
They are calling out the results, I wonder about my chances.
I'm getting very anxious, This is what it's all about,
Now I've jumped right out of my chair, First place, They called
my number out!
I've won the Reel competition, I really can't believe it!
Maybe I've done well in the others, It's quite hard to perceive
it!
I've got two seconds, and a third, Of all my Feis, this is the
best,
Now it's time for the Trophy, I've got to beat the rest.
I think I'll do my Reel this time, I'm glad we get to choose,
I know I can dance it well, I really don't want to lose.
Now the Trophy is over, They've called me out for First Place,
I run out to get the Trophy, A great big grin upon my face!
We all line up together, Trophies and medals held in the air,
I'm feeling quite elated, The judge must have liked my Hair!
We all bow together, Our parents all clap and cheer,
I really like this Feis, I'm coming back next year!
Rush to put on my heavy shoes, The Heavy Jig starts right away,
Then the Hornpipe follows on, It's nearly the end of the day.
I've got a couple more medals And my competitions are at an end,
We're on our long journey home, My chattering's driving Dad round
the bend,
I've won Seven medals and a Trophy, I just love this Irish Dance
I'd do it all again tomorrow, Given half a chance!
Darren 16/10/98
Sarena's bought a little Mayfair,
She likes Metros, she's got a pair!
The first, in red, called Cinnabar,
The second one, well what a car!
The paintwork's metallic, in Azure Blue,
There's central locking, and a sun roof too.
There's a digital clock, so she won't be late,
The gearbox is smooth, so it won't grate.
The interior trim is done in Flint Grey,
The windows are tinted, what more can I say?
There are little mirrors, on each door,
And nice grey carpet on the floor.
There's a nice stereo to play her music loud,
This really is a car to make her proud.
It's easy to start, and runs with a hush,
And doesn't cut out when she's in a rush.
She's got a car with a lot of class,
So please be careful when you pass,
For one thing is certain, this girl you'll annoy,
If you should scratch her pride and joy!
Darren 7/12/96
Siobhan
Although your life has just begun,
you are more loved than anyone.
Your mum and I didn't expect to see,
that joyous day you came to be.
Our dreams fulfilled, our wish come true,
Everything perfect because of you.
A little girl, Siobhan her name,
Our lives will never be the same.
And now my darling, you're nearly one,
and I never thought babies were such fun.
You've made us laugh, you've made us proud,
so I just want to say out loud,
we love you now, we always will,
you can be sure of that, yet still,
one day you'll grow up and move away,
but we won't try to make you stay.
We'll happily send you on this road of life,
but we'll always be there in times of strife.
And if you ever lose your way,
you can call on us and we will say,
just as we did on that very first morn,
we will always love you, Our Siobhan.
Dad 2/5/89
Siobhan
2 1/2
Full of mischief and full of fun,
yes my darling you're the one,
who sometimes drives me round the twist,
then makes me smile because she wants a kiss.
Feeding times can be such a chore,
but if it's sweets you'll come back for more.
And though your mum may rant and rave,
don't forget she's the one who gave,
you all her love, her hopes, her dreams,
lots of toys, and custard creams!
There's something special in all you do,
even when it's only a 'pooh'
"I'll shout you in a minute" is what you say,
"now buzz off and go away"
And if we don't you begin to fret,
"Go downstairs, I'm not finished yet"
And when it comes to bed-time,
into our bed is where you climb,
and no matter how late it be,
you bring your story-book in to me.
Pinnochio, Three Little Pigs or Peter Pan,
'Once upon a time' they all began.
Then "lay down dad" is the next thing said
"I want to go in my own bed!"
By morning you've dreamt of Santa Claus
and my darling that's because,
despite the fact you call me names,
and pester Nicky with your games
we love you Siobhan, more each day,
you've changed our lives in every way,
and we're happy in the knowledge true
that you love mummy, daddy and Nicky too.
You've really grown up so fast,
the two and a half years have just flashed past,
you're no longer a baby, but a little girl
and this my darling I will tell,
We've enjoyed every minute of every day,
and we wouldn't have changed you in any way!
Dad 27/2/91
Six
Now Siobhan You're almost six,
You're so very full of tricks,
Sometimes magic, sometimes naughty,
sometimes cute, but never haughty.
You butt into every conversation,
Which can be quite an irritation,
Then you put your three-penny worth in,
not always thinking before you begin,
You take us off in a different direction,
and won't allow any course correction.
The summer holidays are approaching fast,
another school year has just flown past.
Split from friends without any fuss,
next year you're a big'un with Mr. Russ'
You wrote him a letter to ask if you could be,
he replied he didn't know if you would be,
Now your very wish came true,
so now the rest is up to you.
Your reading is good,
your maths as well,
your writing gets better,
as does the stories you tell.
Mummy and daddy are very proud,
when you read a story book out loud.
Keep trying hard and do your best,
and you won't need to fear any test,
Your life is full,
You have such fun,
you are polite,
to everyone.
And I hope when you read this rhyme,
that you recall this happy time,
With all those hot summer days,
and we were both just full of praise,
for a little girl who is so sweet,,
with big pink shoes upon her feet.
Dad 19/7/94